The Hunger
by Parodys
Summary: A single act, committed by Jubilee decades ago continues to haunt Logan. First chapter is Jubilee's POV, second is Logan's.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I'm just playing with them, I'll promise to put them back when I'm done.  
  
A/N: Yep it's Jubes since I'm betting you're going to ask and yes its Wolverine. Warnings for mature themes and sexual situations. She's an adult, he's an adult don't get your panties in a twist over it. Jubilee is also a telepath in this...a very strong one.   
  
  
The Hunger  
  
I have spent a lifetime watching him. An eternity in seconds because that's all I have of him- seconds: fragile, desperate ticks on a clock that I wage a war against. In my scenario, my dream, I win and he is mine despite it all. Despite his need to run, to keep those he loves at a distance. I suppose I should be flattered- it's been four years since I saw him last. Each time he's come home to the mansion he's managed to miss me. Or avoid me. Either way the most I've seen of him is the tailpipe of his Harley as he speeds off into the night.  
  
I know why he's haunted, why he runs from me, why his dreams are tormented. It had started off so simply, just a hot day, far from perfect. The team had spent the day lounging around the house, tired and sweaty. I had just graduated from college with a BA under my belt and the summer had been key in spending some much longed for time with him. I was 21- far from being a child but he still managed to tease me like I was still 13.  
  
Those precious hours together, while we drank lemonade so cold that it was that delicious mixture between liquid and ice, dipping our feet in the lake, talking until the stars burst into view.  
  
In the end it was my fault. My mistake. Not his. Not his.  
  
Everyone had gone to bed and I had lain in mine for what seemed like forever, my body unable to sleep, too hot to rest, the burning in me making me restless. God help me I couldn't stop what I did next. Before I realized what I was doing I had slipped off my sticky nightshirt and crawled into his bed. Sliding in beside him feeling his rough, hot flesh next to mine was something that I can never forget. He should have thrown me out in that instant. Why didn't he you ask? I helped him, made him think that he was with Jean instead of me.   
  
God. You have no idea what it's like to love a man for over 8 years and know that in no way, shape or form will he ever love you in return. He'll let you be a partner, a friend, a drinking buddy but never a lover. All I wanted was one stolen moment for me, something I could replay in my head over and over again when I slept alone in my bed night after night. He wouldn't have remembered it and everything would have been fine. It was supposed to be harmless.   
  
With every kiss, each gasp, every time his lips brushed my skin, or ran his hands through my hair he was making love to another woman. Funny, you'd think that it'd make a difference...make it less, but it didn't. If you've wanted something long enough and badly enough, a substitute, even a poor one becomes a dream come true.  
  
It was only after he had shuddered, climaxing with a fierce joy as he clutched my shoulders that I let my shields drop. As he whispered her name with love, he looked into my eyes.  
  
He was angry, furious, even slapped me for the first time as he destroyed the room, destroying any proof that he and I had been together. Scott had barged in only to see me standing naked in the corner, trembling with a large, red welt on my cheek and him throwing clothes on amidst the wreckage of his room.  
  
To Scott's outraged bellow asking what happened, my beloved only replied that he should ask me. As he left all he said was, "Never thought ya had it in ya partner. Congratulations on finally getting what ya wanted Darlin." He spat out the words like they were poison on his tongue, like he was getting rid of the taste of me that lingered in his mouth.  
  
I haven't seen him since. In the beginning I used to wait up at night for him, hoping that he would somehow forgive me...love me. Now? Now I fall asleep dreaming when he'll be mine. In those dreams we're happy and he loved me. Now all I want is to turn back time to the days before I hurt him, before the desperation, before the hunger grew too great.  
  
In reality I fight the clock, but as each minute passes, turning into hours then days, and eventually years, and the driveway remains empty... I know that in that brief moment I lost it all.  
  
  
-fin-  
  
A/N: *sigh* That's what I get for letting my brain take a back seat and letting the muses write. I know Jubes would never do that...but that's what fanfiction is for right? Loved it? Hated it? Let me know!   
  



	2. Hauntings

Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned them I would treat them much better…like I am now. See? See?

A/N: To all of you who know my work…yes I am officially back. For those who don't…Hi! Please read Chapter One to get a sense of what's going on. Trust me, it'll make way more sense. And remember reviews create warm fuzzies! J

Chapter 2

I have lived a hundred lifetimes, each more different from the next. Wandering from destiny to destiny, driven by a desire, a need that was never fulfilled, never attained. With Charles I found a home that would endure through the generations that would come after him, a room that was mine throughout the ravages of time.

Life is ironic; I can hear it laughing at me as I sit now, over a hundred years since Charles died, on my Harley heading north. It's become my yearly pilgrimage of sorts, heading to Canada to reclaim that balance that I used to so sorely need. Now, it's a trip for remembrances, and regrets. The biggest one? The one that haunts me to this day? It was her….so young and innocent. I corrupted her.

How could she not have loved me? I put her in a position of being with me 24/7 for years. She's saved me more times than I can count. I've done the same for her. We were everything to each other, how could I not have seen that she wanted everything. So she wanted me like I still longed for Jean, that one unattainable person that is forever out of our grasp. I should have know that my partner never settles for anything. She got what she wanted in the end. 

When I looked her into her eyes, my body heaving with emotion and love I was angry that she had deceived me. I was even more angry at myself. I have senses that go beyond normal human and no telepath has ever been able to get past my shields...unless I wanted them to. Maybe subconsciously I wanted her in my bed, in my arms, and if normal conventions wouldn't allow it, maybe letting her think she tricked me would. Convoluted logic but over these years that's what I've come up with.

So I shut my mouth and headed out north, doing everything and everyone to get my mind on other matters. Spent a few years in Cambodia, Brazil, working as a bodyguard for some rich asshole, and mostly just wandered the world coming back every decade or so to see Jub...the X-men get older and older. To see Storm change to an elemental, to see _her _get married, watching Cyke hand over the reigns to Jonothon for a new generation of X-men, to see _her_ with bright-eyed babies with blue eyes tugging at her skirt, laughing as Remy and Rogue finally got married, to see _her_ hair lined with gray, hearing Xavier's talk to the UN on mutants, to see _her_ cry at her husband's funeral when he was killed by Magneto, to see all of them live their lives to the fullest, to see _her_ stoop with age.

And finally came that day when I stood and saw her grave, lovingly placed beside her husband and the child she lost in childbirth. As I stood and thought of her life, bright and full of joy I was glad that she had been able to move on. For the longest time I was afraid that she would be haunted, like me, but she obviously wasn't, her three children a living testament to that. She had lived a full life, a happy life, which was why for the life of me I couldn't figure out why the hell I was crying. Jubilee, my one and only partner laid to rest in the cool green earth with a tombstone over her saying, "Wife, mother, team leader, and best friend." 

After that day I couldn't seem to find the will to visit anymore, my teammates either dead or living somewhere, scattered to the winds. I holed up in Canada, in my cabin, living from day to day until one day I realized I had been there for over fifty years. I knew nothing of the world in which I lived, and I decided to head out and see what had become of the X-men.

My Harley was rusted beyond repair but I got the jeep running and started my journey south. Late one evening, it had begun to snow lightly, the tiny white flakes hitting my windshield, when I saw a car swerve ahead of me, spinning out of control until it flew off the bridge we were on and into the frigid ice waters of the lake below. The car quickly sank out of sight as I scrambled to get out of the jeep to see what was happening, within seconds the darkness was all I could see as the bubble streamed up from the bottom. Tearing off my shirt, I plunged in to the heart-stopping cold trying to see where the car had landed. The water was murky, and even my healing power couldn't help me for long in here. Kicking further down, I followed the bubbles to where a woman sat trapped in her car. Slicing the door open I tore the metal pieces off and dragged her out, struggling to the surface. I must have done it somehow because the next thing I knew, she was choking as I breathed life into her.

I was bitterly cold, as I hauled her to the jeep on my shoulder I carefully wrapped her in a blanket and headed towards a cheap hotel that I had passed an hour earlier. I spent the night caring for her, until the sun rose several hours later and her breathing had become easy. It must of been mid-day when I awoke with a start, and found her staring down at me. She was a rather plump woman, her black hair shimmering around her face, and a sweet smile that emerged when she looked down at me. 

"How are you feeling?"

"That's what I should be asking you. How did you loose control of the car?" I peered up at her, trying to figure out how much time had passed. 

She sat down on the side of the bed and shrugged. "A slippery road, and me not paying attention. That's pretty much all of it." The room seemed to pulse and I lay back down, my head starting to throb. The woman seemed to glow and I blinked a few times, but the vision didn't changed. She laid a hand on my chest and said softly. "You gave me life, and now I'll return yours to you."

"There's nothing you can give me that I want, especially this life."

"So bitter, was there nothing you loved in all your lifetimes?"

My mind raced through images and she smiled, laying a warm hand on my forehead. Her voice was rich and deep and the last thing I heard her say before I slipped into fevered unconsciousness was "I thought so."

I woke with a start, my mind feeling fuzzy, as if I had just woken up from a decade of sleep. Suddenly I felt a presence in the room and I looked up to see Jeannie smiling at me.

"Jean?" My voice sounded so frail in the moonlight, but she just smiled and nodded, her amber hair shimmering around her face like a halo. I felt my heart lurch as I realized what she wanted...and yet it didn't feel right. I knew who I wanted and with a quick sniff I knew where she was. Reaching up to stroke her cheek I whispered. "It's alright darlin' you don't have to do this. You're the only thing I need....Jubilee."

Jean's image flickered uncertainly for a second and then dropped to reveal Jubilee, her eyes brimming with tears, her hair tousled and unruly with curls teasing her neck. With trembling hands I touched her cheek where one tear had managed to fall, and gently kissed it. 

Bright blue cascades of heaven looked at me with wonder and her voice shook as she lightly brushed my chest. "Logan?"

My chest heaved as I felt the world shift into its rightful place. This was what I had been meant for all this time. She was the one I had been waiting for. I smiled as I leant over and kissed her, knowing as soon as our lips touch that we had been made for each other. As we parted for air she shook her head, " You never said anything."

"Blame it on a stubborn old fool who needed a lifetime to figure out what was in front of him the whole time." 

-fin-


End file.
